Do you remember the very first time you’re make a failure. Fallen into the road?. Broke your arm or leg?. Or, the first bruises you made?.
I’ve been thinking a lot about failure recently. What do you think when you’re failing?. What was the first thing that came to your mind when you got the failure?. Do you tend to be more down to what you feel rather than seeing positive side?.
When i was a little kid, i had this terrible accident that i had to got few stitches on the head. But, i am sure that i wasn’t thinking about that as a failure. I think a lot about adventure those times. I didn’t even think about the consequences of what i did. The only thing i cared about was just enjoying my time and feed my curiosity so then, i didn’t ended up sleeping knowing that i haven’t figured it out what is it like to ride a bicycle with one handed. Hahaha.
Personally, after looking back to what i’ve experienced all this time is. I think. I’m an impulsive natural born. How do you say it?, a natural impulsive borner?. Just call it that way right now. But, guess i’m not Clementine Kruczyncki.
But, as time goes by. As i entered schools. As i got bad and good situations. As i learnt that few of people think that when they got their test scores lower than 80, they considered it as a failure. I think that’s the first time i knew the word “failure”.
I wasn’t the kind of the girl whose got the straight A’s on exam. But, i love to read. Especially, fiction. All those elementary teachers could spoiled me with books if i could spent only few minutes to finished a task from them.
Since the day of adulting phase came, i’ve been thinking about failures a bit slightly better than i was. I used to think that, when i’m experiencing the failure, i did this bad habits called comparison. Yes. “comparison is the thief of joy” and “neighbor’s grass always look greener” are locked in my mind. But, somehow, i still be able to compare myself to others. Which has whole different life than me, which is not fair.
I still do that sometimes, i know it’s bad and i’m working to make a better habits. So, i found this unique way to better maintaining failures.
Do you know growth mindset?. In short, my unique way is look like that, but, as i’m part of human being, i am also let myself to feel. All those bad feelings that coming when you’re experiencing failures. In every genuine aspects of this life.
I allowed myself to feel sad, to feel neglected, to feel shame, to feel dissappointed.
But, it is my responsibility as well to fixing up the car. I allowed myself to fall, feel, and then get up.
One day at a time..
